On a recent episode of my ๐๐ฆ๐ช๐๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐๐จ podcast, I discussed my decade-long struggle with eating disorders and how I finally โhealedโ from them (listen here).
I was enlightened to learn from Rebecca Eyre, CEO of Project Heal, that Iโm not as โhealedโ as I thought I was. While I may no longer practice the abusive behaviors that were destroying my body (#bulimia #anorexia #exercisebulimia), my ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ hasnโt healed.
I live my life with balance to maintain my weight. I own that. I lift heavy to keep my metabolism running more efficiently, I practice mindful eating (so Iโm never starving my body or getting too full) and I enjoy cocktails daily so I never feel deprived of what I want (margaritas!!).
I finally found true happiness and self-love but that happened to come about when I found my ๐ฅ๐๐ฎ๐จ๐๐๐๐ก ideal. I know now that I still use fat-phobic language that can be triggering to those still in the struggle. Iโm grateful that this was brought to my attention because itโs the last thing that I would want to do. When I talk about how โby lifting heavy and eating more often, I finally lost the weight,โ I am making weight loss the goal. I do realize that a lot of the women that I encourage to live with balance are frustrated that they arenโt losing weight (and my tips ๐๐๐ฃ help you with that!) but weight loss should not be the ultimate goal. That goal should be truly loving yourself at any size. . . and I admit that Iโm not there yet.
I will continue to live my healthy lifestyle of balance and work to inspire other women to find balance in their own lives. Balance ๐ฌ๐ค๐ง๐ ๐จ for me. I am truly happy in my physical body but I still have a long way to go, mentally, and Iโm owning that. In order to truly heal, Iโve learned that I need to find self-love at ๐๐ฃ๐ฎ size. No matter what.
The journey continues. . . will you join me on it?